[ Words crawl back to him from the beginning of that whiskey-drowned night. Robb wasn't there. He is with his cosetted. Her bitterness. And then...how quickly it all spiraled from there.
Those last words hit hard. He's cringing. ]
Do you truly hope so, Robb? Do you think I don't want your mother here? Even after this? By the gods.
Breaking Jeyne's heart, betraying her memory is worse than death to me.
I won't assume to speak about your marriage to mother then. I'll only say that I will stay with Jon for a time, until Jeyne lets me stay with her. I have no desire to be near that woman.
When you begin your marriage by breaking your wife's heart, Robb, it makes you see things very differently. We were not like you and Jeyne. What we fought for, I would fight for again.
It all began because I was grief stricken and drowned myself in drink. Everything happened after that. It was easier to stay with her than my room. Then I attempted to face my nightmares and she grew desperate.
Jeyne appeared and now she looked to make me suffer.
It was a mistake I made, it would be hypocritical of me to blame you.
[But he's still upset and feeling somewhat cold. He can't explain why, only that part of him hoped that his father was a different man than him. So long he was on a pedestal, but how quickly he fell.]
Your mistake - and mine - was the despair. Not the temptation. Before Jeyne came, you were a dead man with a dead wife. As I am. If your mother never comes - if Jeyne never came - that means living out the rest of our days alone.
You know what I will return to. What you will return to. When our time here is done.
Jeyne was dead, but it didn't change my feelings. I should have held firm to my vows and been honest with myself. I wasn't, I was craven and coped with my grief and nightmares in the ways of a weak man.
I shouldn't have turned to her in that way. I'm tired though of being told vows end at death.
So Eponine said as well and I'm fortunate, but I still loved her even when she wasn't and as much as Eponine wanted me to, I couldn't forget or replace her. I felt I was still married.
I pray you and Jeyne will have the joy of a new life here together.
[ He remembers the babe Robb said they lost, and knows that Robb may never understand a father's desire to see his child happy and fulfilled in their path. It is a different one than he had walked. And it was good that his son would not simply walk in his footsteps but make new steps of his own. ]
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Those last words hit hard. He's cringing. ]
Do you truly hope so, Robb? Do you think I don't want your mother here? Even after this? By the gods.
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It would be in her rights not to do so again. Especially since I have actually done what I claimed to need forgiveness for all those years ago.
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I won't assume to speak about your marriage to mother then. I'll only say that I will stay with Jon for a time, until Jeyne lets me stay with her. I have no desire to be near that woman.
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[ He frowns and reads Robb's message again. ]
You were living with Eponine?
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No. She lives next to me.
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...Damn it all. That is too close for comfort. And that was how it all began, was it not?
[ You know. For both of them. ]
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Jeyne appeared and now she looked to make me suffer.
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Grief and spirits, a fatal combination.
She struck where you would be most vulnerable. It seems to be a pattern.
[ He rests his head in his hands. ]
Forgive me, Robb. It was, as you say, a mistake. All the more because it wounds you. If not for her sake, then for mine and your mother's.
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[But he's still upset and feeling somewhat cold. He can't explain why, only that part of him hoped that his father was a different man than him. So long he was on a pedestal, but how quickly he fell.]
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You know what I will return to. What you will return to. When our time here is done.
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I shouldn't have turned to her in that way. I'm tired though of being told vows end at death.
Not for me, not about her.
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I do not think it weak to live here as a widowed man when that is what one is. But you must follow your own heart in this, Robb.
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But forgive me, if you continue with Eponine, I can't stomach it.
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Your way is suddenly clear now that Jeyne is here.
It will not happen again.
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I thought you would approve.
[But he's not sure what to think anymore.]
Thank you.
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I will simply say this. You would not exist if your mother felt that same way about her first betrothed.
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Father, why does it matter. This is how I feel, why keep pressing it?
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I pray you and Jeyne will have the joy of a new life here together.
[ He remembers the babe Robb said they lost, and knows that Robb may never understand a father's desire to see his child happy and fulfilled in their path. It is a different one than he had walked. And it was good that his son would not simply walk in his footsteps but make new steps of his own. ]
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Either way, I'm moving domes.
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[ For him, too. ]
Anyone else I should watch out for?
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